I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
