Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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