Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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