Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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