She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
