Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize