Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
