he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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