There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
