normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
