i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
