He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
