Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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