Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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