I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize