Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
