dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
