i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
