I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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