Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
