Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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