some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Ketchup is God's man juice
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
