i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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