a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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