I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I didn't shave. On purpose
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
