So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
