please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so that wasnt chicken after all
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
