I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
