Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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