before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
