Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
