Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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