I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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