dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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