I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
