And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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