I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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