I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
