Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she looked like the before picture.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
