I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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