The best revenge is premature balding
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
