my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
