For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize