I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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