Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
