I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Mom said you looked used
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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