Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize