I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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