So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
