Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
