If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
