Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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