so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
