And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
