i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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