I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
