The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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