I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i was born a porn star she said
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
