why im i the only drunk person in the library?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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