my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
