one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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