At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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