these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
