Don't make out with my wife yet
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
