Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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