So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
