should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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