He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
