But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
