i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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