I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I have post one night stand depression
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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