i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
