I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just blew my weed a kiss
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
